Coney Island
by flora.s.t
Summary: Tony and Ziva go to his father's wedding. together. read it and find out. Tiva. - 4/24: just changed the rating to T. it'll get a little heavier from ch. 12 out. - 5/14: my computer was stolen on wednesday so it'll be a little while until i update. sorry!
1. Chapter 1

_And I still feel like I am falling_

_When I look in your eyes_

_And in the dunes at Coney Island_

_Will you kiss me on the lips like it was the first time_

_And I will pretend to resist_

_Cause in a world so full of troubles_

_I think that we've seen enough_

_And they'll still be here tomorrow_

_When the sun comes up_

- Antje Duvekot "Coney Island"

They walked along the boardwalk, fingers intertwined. It was mid afternoon in February and almost no one was out. It was silent and lonely. Peaceful. It suited them in a way.

Suddenly Tony pulled Ziva to his chest, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist. She squeaked in surprise, before finding her mouth cut off by a sweet kiss. She pulled away as soon as she could.

"What was that for?" she asked angrily.

"I love you."

She stared at him for a moment. He had never said that before.

"I love you too."

They stared at each other for a moment longer. He pulled one hand free, still holding her firmly to him with the other. He stroked her cheek lovingly before pulling her mouth to his again. This time she didn't argue.

**ONE YEAR AGO**

"Good morning Tony, you are here early," Ziva said as she walked into the bullpen.

He didn't answer, purposefully ignoring her.

"Tony? What is wrong?"

"Nothing."

"If nothing were wrong, you would be running in here two minutes late and reading GSM before Gibbs got here." She dropped her stuff next to her desk and then walked over to lean on his. "So something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong Ziva!"

She looked down at his desk. A beautiful letter typed on fancy stationary sat on his desk. Quick as lighting, she reached down and grabbed it jumping out of reach as Tony yelled, "Ziva! That's personal!"

Thankfully, Gibbs wasn't there yet and McGee was down visiting Abby.

"'You are invited to the wedding of Anthony DiNozzo Sr. and Clare Adams on the 18th of February.'" She looked up at Tony. "Your dad's getting married?"

He slumped back down into his desk chair, his face in his hands, elbows on knees. "Apparently. I haven't even heard of this girl. And then I get _this_." On the back of the invitation was a photo of a young blonde girl, snuggled up against his father.

"Wow. That's interesting."

"He wants me to go." She looked down to see him looking up at her, pain and weakness in his eyes. "I just don't know if I can. Ziva, I– I don't know if I can be in the same room with him and a new stepmother…" His face fell back into his hands. He was on the verge of a meltdown.

She dropped down to her knees in front of him and put her hands on his knees. "Hey, it's alright. I'm here. We're all here for you, Tony."

She heard him take a few ragged deep breaths before he turned his face up to her.

"Ziva? Will you come with me? For moral support, you know?"

She thought for about half a second. She was his partner, she was supposed to be there for him. Did that extend to going to his father's wedding with him? They had always been involved in the other's personal life. This wasn't over stopping the boundaries.

"Okay."


	2. Chapter 2

**This is just a filler chapter. I'll try to have something longer/ more interesting up later today or tomorrow. **

**Thanks for the support! The more reviews I get, the faster I'll post. So review! **

"He _what_?" Gibbs yelled across the bullpen.

Tony flinched as if it was his fault. Ziva instinctively moved closer to him, barely brushing his arm. "He's getting married again. He wants me to go to the wedding."

"Are you going to?"

"Yeah. I mean it's going to be a bit of a family reunion so… yeah." He turned to look at Ziva. She nodded encouragingly to him. "And boss… Ziva's coming with me… for moral support, you know." McGee looked up from his desk, eyebrows raised. Abby would love to hear about this later.

Gibbs eyebrows went up for a moment too. Then he realized that he should have expected this. His two best agents were completely dependent on each other. While it wasn't exactly the best thing, it could have been worse.

"All right," he said. "You go and you have a good time. I'm giving you a week off. McGee? You get the week off too. I'll hold down the fort."

"Really boss?" Tony asked. "The whole week?"

"Yeah. When does this "family reunion" start?" he asked.

"Well my aunt Isabella sent me an email. It sounds like most of the family will arrive in New York on the Friday before."

"So that would be when?"

"Um…"

"The 11th Gibbs," Ziva answered for him.

"Oh. So two weeks away?"

"Yeah."

"Well then you leave after work, you skip a week, then you come back the following Monday. Nine days."

"Great. Thanks boss." Tony said.

"No problem. Now DiNozzo, with me."

"Where we going?"

"To see Abby." They walked to the elevator. As soon as the doors shut, Gibbs flicked the emergency switch. He turned to look at Tony.

"Ziva's going for moral support? Since when do you need moral support, DiNozzo?"

Tony looked down at his feet. "Well, you know… my dad and I have been doing better. But this new girl… I just don't know Gibbs. It kinda freaks me out. And my family is going to be there." Gibbs actually saw a shiver go down Tony's spine. "I just want to be there for my dad and I think that the only way I can do it is if someone goes with me, and Ziva… well she's just there. She always has been." His gaze suddenly went to almost sad and he looked to the ceiling, as if to hide tears. "Maybe I was just too stupid to see her there before."

And a thought entered Gibbs head that he had been trying to avoid for a long time. His agents meant a little too much to each other.

He decided not to say anything about it. They were adults. They would make the right decision. "Okay." He hit the switch and the elevator started to move again.


	3. Chapter 3

Friday rolled around fast enough. They had only had a few cases and they all wrapped up quickly. Ziva found herself glancing up at Tony all day long. He was subdued and she caught him staring blankly at the screen several times.

Gibbs let them go early. "I don't want you out on the road too late," he said.

They each went home around five and Tony stopped by Ziva's house to pick her up around 5:15. Tony drove the first leg and told her about his family. They stopped in Baltimore at one of his favorite takeout restaurants from his days on Baltimore PD.

They were going to his Uncle Fabio's house in the Hamptons. He listed off his family members: Uncle Fabio, insane and super rich; his wife and Tony's favorite aunt, Ilaria; their son Marco, his wife Hannah, and their daughter Isabella; their daughter Amanda and her long-time boyfriend John; Uncle Vincenzo, a butcher and Aunt Giovanna; their daughter Celia and her partner Diana; Aunt Alessia, who was really Tony's half aunt from his grandfather's second marriage; and her children, Angela, Sam, and Michael who were still in high school and college.

Ziva took the wheel about a half hour out of Baltimore after they finished talking. Tony took a nap for a few hours, giving Ziva time to think about everything he had said. They switched again just outside of New York City since he knew the way to the house. She slept for a minute before waking as she felt them slow down on a curvy road.

"Where are we?" she mumbled groggily.

"Coming up to the house. The driveway is really long. There is some land, but mainly it is because the house in the water," Tony answered.

His voice was tense. Ziva could tell that he was getting nervous. She reached out and put her hand on his knee.

"You are going to be fine, you know."

He nodded, swallowing a little. He reached down and took her hand in his. He brought it up to his lips and kissed her palm. She shivered a little at the gentle contact, the fire in her chest burning again. She thought she had pushed it out after their first year together, pushed away her desire for him. It was back though. And it was stronger.

_Not good,_ she thought. They were about to spend a weekend together and she _wanted_ him.

"I have you," he whispered against her hand. "I can do anything with you next to me."

Suddenly, the trees they were driving through ended. They pulled around a fountain and stopped in front of a huge house. Ziva looked up at it, not noticing as Tony got out of the car. He came around to her side and opened the door for her. She got out and couldn't help it as her mouth fell open slightly.

It seemed like a hundred windows were glittering out of the stone walls in front of her. It was an old house, built one piece on top of another over time. Each new piece was a little different, this one a foot or two higher than the other, that one with higher ceilings than this one.

By the time she was done gawking, tony had set the suitcases on the ground. She grabbed hers and he led the way up to the front door.

They stood on the porch and she waited for him to knock. He was just staring at the door.

Finally he moved. He turned to look at her.

"Ziva, I just realized something."

"What, Tony?"

"I told them that I was bringing someone, but…"

"But what?"

"I didn't think to tell them that we're coworkers."

"So?"

"I think that they might think we're dating."

She looked at him.

"Oh."

"What do you want to do? We're probably sharing a room."

"That is not a problem." She made a quick decision. "And we have played the part of lovers before. We can do it again."

"You sure?"

_Oh Lord, what am I doing? _she thought. "Yes I'm sure."

"Okay." He reached up to knock on the door. When his hand fell, he reached over to her and took her hand in his. "We can do this."

"Yes."

"Together."

_Oh Lord, save me. _"Yes."

The door swung open.


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh mio dio!" (Oh my God) gasped the small woman standing in the doorway. For a moment she looked as though she might have a heart attack from the surprise. Then she recovered herself and joy took over her features.

"Mio nipote!" (My nephew) she cried as Tony found himself being kissed on his cheeks, right, then left, then back to right.

"E un amico!" (And a friend), she said as she did the same for Ziva. Ziva glanced over at Tony as she accepted the gesture. Tony was smirking.

"Ciao Zia Ilaria," (Hello Aunt Ilaria) Tony said. "Did you think we weren't coming?" he said jokingly.

"Only a little, sweet one," she responded in English with a heavy Italian accent, appearing horrified that he thought she hadn't trusted his word.

"It's alright, zia, we don't mind," he laughed.

She smiled ashamedly before standing aside to allow them to come in. "Come in, come in! Tony is here!" she cried down the long hall they found themselves standing in. She shut the door as they suddenly heard a huge clamor down the hall. It was mixture of voices, furniture moving, dishes clattering, and feet.

Tony and Ziva looked at one another for a moment.

Somewhere near the end of the dark hall, double doors swung open and light came pouring out. A person appeared through the doorway.

"Tony!" the figure cried.

"Amanda?" Tony asked.

The woman finally appeared in the light and threw herself on Tony.

"Oh my God, I thought we would never see you again!" she cried as she pulled away looking up at Tony. "How are you?"

"Good, what about you?"

"Fine, fine." More people appeared through the doors. "Everyone's so excited to see you. We'll have plenty of time to catch up. Who's this?" she said turning to see Ziva.

"This is Ziva," Tony said.

"Good to meet you," Amanda said coming to give Ziva a hug.

The mob was closing in on them. Cries of "Tony!" and "Oh my God!" were echoing in the stone hallway.

"Hey Celia," Tony said as another woman pulled Tony into a hug. "You've grown up."

"I have."

"Hey man! You're here," said a man, pushing past Celia to give Tony a one armed hug.

"Mario, good to see you," Tony said.

"Tony?" said a voice, awestruck. It was a young woman.

Tony looked at her for a second before recognition hit him.

"Angie?"

"You remember," she said.

"Come here," Tony said, wrapping her in a hug. "You must have been eight the last time I saw you."

"Yeah."

"Where are your brothers, Michael and Sam?"

"Here," said a voice. There were two young men standing to the back next to an older woman.

Tony went to give each a light hug. "Do you guys even remember me? You would have been six and three."

"I do," said Michael, the older one.

"Wow, that is so weird. You guys are so old."

"I know, it's amazing isn't it?" said the woman, who was obviously their mother.

"Yeah. Hey Alessia," he said as he gave her a hug.

"It's good to see you Tony. We've missed you. Let's go back to the living room. Everyone else is in there."

Tony spun around to find Ziva. "Zee?" he called for her.

"Here," came her voice from behind him.

She was standing by the door talking with Amanda. She was smirking at him.

For a moment he forgot that they were only pretending to date. It was a look she had given him many times before but as she stood there with his favorite cousin, it felt like he was bringing his girlfriend home for the first time.

He walked over to her. The family began to move back to the living room while others talked amongst themselves a little and watched Tony.

He looked between her and Amanda. "What are you two talking about? You better not be telling her everything from my childhood, Ami." He put his arm around Ziva's waist and she instantly leaned into him a little.

"No, I wasn't telling her anything. But thanks for the idea."

Tony grimaced and Ziva laughed. "Don't worry Tony, I'll only laugh. No story can beat the ones I know."

His face fell. "You wouldn't."

"Oh I would."

Then she did the unthinkable.

She stood on tiptoe to reach him and gently kissed him. He placed both hands on her hips and hers rested on his chest. It was quick and she pulled away teasingly.

"Come on you two," Amanda said, laughing. "Lets go see the rest of the family. I'll introduce you Ziva."

"Okay," Ziva said. She and Amanda walked down the now deserted hall.

"Would you put the suitcases by the stairs Tony?" Amanda called over her shoulder.

Shaken out of his state of shock, Tony replied a second late. "Okay."

Ziva noticed the slight pause and turned back to look at Tony before she entered the living room. He was staring at her. She smirked at him for a second before disappearing. Tony rushed to take the suitcases to the stairs so he could follow her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for not posting enough! I meant to say this the last few times I posted too… the holidays really messed me up and then I had finals and the end of the semester. Anyway, enjoy and review! **

Tony walked into the huge room. Wood paneling on three sides made it warm and cozy in the light from the giant fireplace. He remembered standing in that fireplace when he was about seven years old. He could stand up straight in it, feet flat on the floor, head touching the underside of the mantelpiece.

Ziva was standing in the center of the room, which was half dining room, half living room, half library. It was just generally the "main room". She was standing with Amanda, or Ami, as he liked to call her, which means love in Italian. It was fitting for her because no one had a bigger heart than her. She was introducing Ziva to her brother Marco. He walked up behind her and slid his arm around her waist. She started a little before settling back into him.

"Marco owns a restaurant," Ami was telling Ziva. "It's in Brooklyn."

"You are a chef now Marco?" Tony asked.

"No, I just run the business. It helps to have a passion for Italian food though," Marco replied.

"You should get Ziva to reveal her secret to agnolotti… it's amazing. She's the - "

She slammed her elbow into his side. "Another word and you will regret it," she muttered.

"Already do," he wheezed back.

Marco and Ami both started to laugh. A woman walked over to them.

"What is so funny, love?" she asked Marco.

"Hannah, this is my cousin Tony and his girlfriend Ziva. Tony, Ziva this is my wife Hannah."

"Wonderful to meet you," Hannah said, shaking hands with each of them.

"You guys are married?" Tony asked.

"Yep, first in the family." Marco smiled at his wife. "Two years ago. And our daughter Isabella is six months old."

"She's over there, with her Nonna." Hannah turned and pointed to aunt Illaria, who was sitting on the couch with the baby in her arms.

"She is beautiful," Ziva said.

Tony looked down at her. She had a light in her eyes, one that her rarely saw. Desire? Regret? He wasn't exactly sure but he instinctively wanted to comfort her. He held her a little tighter and leaned down to press his lips softly against the point of her jaw bone, below her ear. She turned into him slightly, half out of surprise and half out of joy. She loved the feeling of his lips on her skin.

"Come on, sweetcheeks," he said quietly as he straightened up. "You still need to meet the rest of the family."

**I'm sorry for not posting and will try to keep up! Please review, it keeps me motivated.**


	6. Chapter 6

Tony led Ziva into the circle of the sitting area where everyone was.

"Tony!" an older woman called. "Where have you been all these years? And who is your friend?"

"Everybody, this is Ziva, my girlfriend. Ziva, that's my aunt Giovanna." He pointed to the woman.

"Come here, Ziva," Giovanna said, beckoning to her.

Ziva released Tony's hand and walked over to sit beside Giovanna. The old woman took Ziva's hand and gently turned it over, tracing the lines of her palm with her fingers.

"You have had a hard life. Something terrible happened. You were hurt, horrifically hurt. You haven't told anyone about it. Tony saved you. You have been together a long time." Ziva looked up at Tony. He was staring down at her with a look she had seen once in his eyes: when he was talking with Jeanne. But it was mixed with something else too. Sadness, perhaps? She smiled faintly and he did too. "Your relationship has had challenges. But you are tied together in the deepest of ways and will always be together." Ziva took a breath and Tony smiled a little more broadly.

Giovanna turned her hand over again and patted it. "What a life. Tony is lucky to have found you and you, him."

"Yes, we are very lucky."

"Well Ziva, this is my husband, Vincenzo." She reached to her other side and found the man's hand.

"Good to meet you Ziva," he said.

"And you," she said.

"That is our daughter, Celia." Giovanna pointed to the young woman across the room.

"Hey Ziva. Hope mama didn't scare you," Celia said, shaking Ziva's hand when she walked over.

"No, I have had my palm read many times."

"Really?"

"Yes, by the gypsies in Turkey."

"Turkey?"

"Yes."

"Ziva is Israeli," Tony said, enlightening everyone.

"Oh, I was wondering where your accent was from," Ami said, standing next to a man. "It's so beautiful."

"Thank you."

"And Ziva, this is my girlfriend, Diana," Celia said, gesturing to the woman next to her.

"Nice to meet you." They shook hands as well.

"Oh right, Tony, Ziva, this is my boyfriend, John," Ami said, touching the man next to her.

"Hi, Ziva," John waved. "And Tony." Tony and John shook hands and Ziva waved back.

"And Ziva, this is Alessia," Tony said, touching the middle aged woman's shoulder.

"Hello Alessia," Ziva said.

"Hello. These are my children, Angela, Michael, and Sam." She pointed around the room at the three youngest cousins.

"Hello." She said to all of them. They all responded with quiet, "Hey's," or something similar.

Ziva had migrated back to Tony and was again leaning into him, his arm around her waist. She felt him suddenly yawn and looked up to see his eyes drooping slightly. Aunt Ilaria noticed as well.

"Oh Tony! You both must be exhausted, it is late and you have been driving all afternoon. Why don't you go up to bed? We can talk more in the morning," she said.

"Sounds good, zia," Tony said groggily.

"Yes," Hannah said suddenly. "I believe we should go to bed as well. Bella is fast asleep."

"She is indeed," Ilaria said handing Bella off to Hannah.

"Well I guess we'll all turn in then," Celia said.

"Breakfast will be at 8:30, everyone," Giovanna said, with nods of approval from Ilaria and Alessia. "Don't be late!"

Everyone said goodnight and headed up to bed, Tony and Ziva following last with their suitcases. Tony led Ziva along the twisting hallway of the third floor. Tony's cousins all had rooms along this strange hall. It went up three steps for ten feet or so then dipped back down five. It moved a few feet over a one point and soon Ziva knew that she would have been lost if she didn't have a photographic memory.

"Here we are," Tony said pushing open a door into a lush suite. There was a table with two chairs, a couch and TV. The bed was king sized and there was a large walk in closet. The bathroom was huge and very fancy.

"Wow. This is…"

"I know. I have never really understood this place. It's like Fabio wanted to create a palace, complete with weird hallways that don't go anywhere and fancy rooms."

"I suppose so." She took her suitcase into the closet, but didn't unpack it yet. She would do that in the morning. For now she just grabbed her bath bag and an old t-shirt and shorts to sleep in. "I am going to use the bathroom first, okay?"

"Sure, go ahead," Tony said. He changed while she was in there and when she came out a few minutes later, he ducked in. When he came back out, she was sitting in bed reading.

"I'll take the couch," he said.

"Tony, that is absurd. We are adults, we have shared a bed before and this is a very large bed. If you sleep on the couch your back will hurt tomorrow." She hadn't even looked up from her book, but her mind was actually racing. _I should have just let him take the couch! What are you thinking, Ziva David! Sharing a bed with him? _But her good side one out. _His back will hurt tomorrow if he sleeps on the couch and you will feel guilty about it. You both are adults, it will be fine. Just exercise self-control. _

"Okay," he said. "If you're sure."

"Of course I'm sure," she lied.

He crawled in next to her and she turned her light out, setting her book aside and slipping down into the covers. As they drifted off to sleep, he felt her foot touch his leg and smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

**The song is from Ziva's point of view, except for the last part which is Tony responding. Enjoy!**

_I am ruined by rain_

_Weathered by wind_

_I've been invaded_

_Without and within_

_And I ask_

_I am asking you_

_Asking you if you_

_Might still want me_

_Once you said_

_I'm made of fine stuff_

_But I've been corrupted_

_And taken enough_

_Now you appear_

_Making your claim_

_Inside my heart_

_Is the sign of your name_

_And I ask_

_I am asking you_

_Asking you if you_

_Might still want me_

_The way of the world_

_Has taken its toll_

_Ravaged my body_

_Bitten my soul_

_And I ask_

_I am asking you_

_Asking you if you_

_Might still want me_

_When I said_

_"I am bound to you forever,"_

_Here's what I meant:_

_I am bound to you forever_

- Suzanne Vega "Bound"

Ziva woke up with her typical accuracy at 5:00. She was surprisingly warm. There were a lot of covers on the bed but not that many she thought. Then she felt the weight across her stomach and the solid wall of heat at her back.

She lifted her head slightly turning it to look over her shoulder. Tony's soft warm breath washed over her cheek. His face was surprisingly close to hers and she watched his peaceful features twitch from her slight movement in his grasp. _Oh God, I am spooning with Tony! But it is way too comfortable to move. _She rolled her head back down onto the pillow and tried to go back to sleep.

She woke up again at 6:30. She was still in his grasp and she smiled as she felt his even breaths against her back. She tried to slip out from under his arm but he just pulled her to him tighter with a small grunt of frustration.

"Tony, let me up," she whispered. He didn't respond. "Tony!" she whispered a little louder. He still didn't answer. She rolled over in his arms so that she was facing him. "Tony come on, it is time to get up," she said gently pushing against his chest to wake him.

"Mrrh-umpf…" he muttered groggily.

"Tony," she said, moving her hand to stroke his cheek. "Come on Tony, let me up!"

"Go back to sleep sweetcheeks…" he muttered.

"Tony!" she slapped her hand against his cheek a little. His face scrunched up a little but he didn't move.

She could think of only one thing to do. It was her secret trick she had used on her boyfriends' before and it was the only thing she knew to do.

She leaned in and pressed her lips softly on his jawbone, starting near his ear. She slowly kissed her way to his mouth. She kissed just the corner, forcing him to stretch if he wanted to kiss her.

She teased him moving away and he finally woke up to kiss her. His eyes opened and he was awake.

And he realized he was kissing Ziva.

"Ziva!" he cried rolling away from her and nearly falling off the bed. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get you to wake up and let me go!" she retorted.

"By kissing me?"

"Yes! It was the only thing I could think of!"

"_Sure_… you could have just nudged me."

"I did. You just held me tighter."

"Wait, held you?"

"Yes, when I woke up, you were holding me."

"And I'm still alive?"

She laughed. "Yes you are alive. There was I time when I would have killed you but not anymore."

"Huh. Good to know."

She smiled and got out of bed. He watched her walk into the closet and watched through the open door as she unpacked her suitcase.

He thought about the night before and introducing Ziva to his family. His mind went back to what Giovanna had said as she read Ziva's palm. She had said that Ziva had been terribly hurt and had never talked about it.

"Ziva?" he called.

"Yes?" she replied, not looking away from the shirt she was hanging.

"You've never talked about Somalia with anyone, have you?"

She paused and stared at the shirt she was holding without really seeing it. She tried to hide the momentary pause though and moved to hang it up. "Why do you think that Tony?"

"It's just that Giovanna is usually pretty spot-on with her palm readings. And she said that you had never talked about something that terribly hurt you. And I've never heard you talk about Somalia, so I assumed…"

"That that is the terrible thing I have never talked about," she finished for him quietly. She continued to hang up her clothes on autopilot, her mind somewhere else.

She took a breath. "No, Tony I have never talked about it. Except with that NCIS psychologist, but most of that was horse."

"Bull, not horse… Really? You lied to the psychologist?"

"Yes. NCIS never would have taken me if I told the truth whether or not I was fine. Which I was and am."

"Yeah, but… if you ever want to, you know, talk about it…" he said awkwardly. "I'm here for you Ziva."

She paused again and this time she didn't try to hide it. _He does not understand,_ she thought. _He does not understand that what happened to me will only push him away. He is trying to be supportive but if I tell him, he will hate me. That is the last thing I want. I want him to want me even though I am broken. _

"Ziva, you don't have to tell me. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I always will be, like Giovanna said."

She turned to him then and he saw the faint sign of tears in her eyes. He had never seen that before and it got him out of bed faster than anything else could. He moved to her and wrapped her up in his strong arms. She began to cry as he held her up.

She pulled her face out of his chest, tears glimmering on her cheeks and a small smile on her lips.

"Tony… thank you. It's just, I do not want you to hate me."

"Ziva I could never hate you," he said brushing her hair back from her face.

"Yes, you could. I am not whole. What has happened in my life has taken a bite out of my soul, scarred and ravaged my body. I do not want to push you away because you are the best thing in my life. I do not want to tell you because I am afraid that you will not want to be my partner, my friend…"

"Ziva, I will always want you. When Giovanna said that we are tied together, she was right. We are bound together by what we share and nothing can separate us."

She started to cry again and he pulled her into a tighter hug. He kissed the top of his little ninja's head. Everyone thought she was so strong and emotionless but really she was as fragile as a glass box. She just had only a few places where you could break her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sort of a filler… sorry. **

After awhile, Ziva stopped crying and just hung in his arms.

He felt it when she stopped crying and he kissed her head one more time before releasing her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," she said quietly.

"Zee, will you promise me something?"

"Depends."

"Will you tell me some day?"

She looked at him and she knew that she would, probably sooner than he thought. Because if he kept looking at her like that, then she would break and spill it all to him.

"Yes, Tony. One day."

"Okay." They stood there for a second, staring into each other's eyes. Eye sex as Abby called it.

Finally he leaned forward again and kissed her forehead. Then he turned away. "We should get ready or we'll be late for breakfast."

"That would be bad," Ziva said with a wet laugh, remembering the look Giovanna had given the room.

"You have _no_ idea," Tony said to her as she walked into the bathroom. He heard her laugh again as she turned on the shower and smiled.

He unpacked and laid out his clothes while she was in the shower. Ten minutes later, he looked up as he heard the door open and whistled softly.

"Hello…"

"Tony, stop it," Ziva scolded. She was only wearing a towel and her hair was wild and dripping across her bare shoulders. "Go get in the shower now. You stink."

"Yes ma'am," he said, walking backwards to the bathroom door as he watched her. She frowned at him and he smirked back, letting his eyes run over her body. That was, until he ran into the doorframe and she smirked at him.

She went into the closet and picked out a simple beige and green striped t-shirt that hugged her body, a fleece jacket and her favorite dark jeans. When she was done, she wrote a note for Tony who was still in the shower and headed down to help with breakfast.

Her nose was assaulted by the variety of wonderful smells coming from the kitchen behind the large dining room and main room.

"It smells amazing in here!" she said as she walked in. The three older ladies, Tony's aunts, were all bent over something cooking and appeared to have been deep in a conversation in Italian.

"Buongiorno, Ziva!" Ilaria said, turning to look at her. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"That would be lovely. Just tell me where it is and I can get it."

Ilaria directed Ziva in the direction of the tea and then went back to the bacon that was sizzling on the stove.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Ziva asked.

Giovanna answered quickly, "No, I think we are almost done. The pancake batter is ready, the bacon is done" – Ilaria flipped it onto a plate – "the eggs are set, the table is ready… I think we're fine."

"Is she asking to help?" Tony said as he walked in behind Ziva. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the side of her face. She stiffened for a moment before relaxing into him. His eyes widened slightly and he glanced down at the unexpressive top of her head but he didn't move.

"Sì," Ilaria replied.

"See, Ziva, it's pointless to try to help them. They have a perfect system, you can't try to help," Tony explained.

"I only asked!" Ziva protested.

Tony laughed and kissed her cheek again, holding her tighter. He was enjoying this Ziva-is-my-girlfriend charade. He tried to push that from his mind knowing that it was _only_ a charade.

**Sorry guys, school is slowly but surely killing me. I'm trying to write, keep up with school, and complete my college application. Something's gotta give so updates will be sporadic at best. **

**All my love, Fione**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey ya'll! Nice to be back… review please! Also forgot to mention (I think) that for the purposes of this story, Ray does not exist. (YAY)**

_I got close to your skin_

_While you were sleeping_

_I taste the salt on your hands_

_I reached out to touch you_

_The morning light disarms you_

_Won't you let me in?_

_Oh, how long till your surrender?_

_Oh, how long till your surrender?_

_It's a long way for heart break_

_Let your heart wait and bleed_

_How long till your surrender to me?_

_I've become your shadow_

_I'd love but don't know how to_

_I'm always lost for words_

_You look like a thousand suns_

_I wanna be the only one_

_Left when your day is done_

_Oh, how long till your surrender?_

_Oh, how long till your surrender?_

_It's a long way for heart break_

_Let your heart wait and bleed_

_How long till your surrender to me?_

- Neon Trees "Your Surrender"

That day, the family rested and reacquainted themselves. Stories were told, many causing Ziva to hold her stomach as laughs rocked through her. She could feel Tony, sitting on the couch next to her, laughing too as she leaned against him with his arm wrapped around her. Later, he gave her a tour of the house, showing off the greenhouse, the library, the gallery where all the art was hung. She loved it and he enjoyed watching her smile.

They walked the grounds in the early afternoon, even though there was snow on the ground. Sometime in their walk, their hands brushed and he reached out to take hers in his. Slowly their finger intertwined and they found comfort and … dare they think it … love in the gently intimate touch.

That night as they fell asleep, their thoughts blurred from the wine they had had with dinner, Ziva felt herself slide closer to Tony. The room was cold because the heat had been turned down at night and she felt the need to share their warmth. Well, maybe it was more than that but she didn't want to admit that.

She didn't see his eyes widen slightly and the grin form across his face. He hated to admit it but he wanted to be more than a friend to her. He wanted to be the only man in her life, and not just for tomorrow but forever. He wanted to be the last thing she saw every night and the first thing in the morning. He felt like a puppy dog after today, a shadow walking around behind her. He had watched her all day and every smile, every look she gave, was somehow more beautiful than the last.

The feeling scared him. Love? Not his thing. The last person he had said he loved – actually said the words "I love you" to – had been Jeanne. Of course he had told Ziva that he "couldn't live with out her" in Somalia and she had blinked but she was probably too much in shock at the time to have processed what he was saying.

He liked to think that maybe he saw her looking the same way at him. He thought that maybe she loved him too and was scared too. That morning she had said that she was afraid he would not want to be her partner, her friend. There had been something else she was going to say but he had cut her off, trying to tell her that he would always love her without actually saying the words. Maybe he was a coward to not tell her. But how could she not know?

He didn't know that she was thinking something similar.

They fell asleep to their hopeful, hopeless dreams.

*****NCIS*****

The next morning, Ziva didn't wake up early. Well she did, but only for a second, before closing her eyes again as she felt Tony's arms around her again and his hot breath washing across the back of her neck.

He woke up first, to the light shining into his face. He had slept soundly with Ziva in his arms. Breathing in her scent all night had somehow made him sleep deeper, without dreams. His eyes opened and he found her still asleep, her eyes turned down into the pillow. Her shoulder was exposed to him as she was only wearing a loose tank top and some short shorts. Her tank top had ridden up and he felt that under the hand that was thrown over her stomach was lying on bare skin.

It was morning and his body reacted accordingly. If she felt him behind her, she didn't let on.

He moved his face closer to her, if that was possible. He pushed his nose softly into her hair taking in the scent of tomatoes, the shampoo she used. He moved to her shoulder, changing to her peppermint bodywash.

He couldn't help it. His hand moved to stroke her toned, but soft stomach and his lips went to kiss her shoulder.

"Morning, sweet cheeks. Time to get up," he whispered into the soft, supple skin of her shoulder. It was almost 7:30.

She moved and the light hit her face. Her eyes opened and she felt him behind her. She turned.

"Tony?" she mumbled groggily. "What are you doing?"

"Waking you up."

"By kissing me?"

"Why do I feel like our roles have been reversed?" he said jokingly.

She laughed but in the process twisted out of his arms to face him. His heart dropped.

What he couldn't see was that hers did too.

She wanted to be with him. But like him, she was afraid. Afraid that she didn't deserve it, afraid that he didn't feel as strongly as she did, afraid he would break her heart. The list of "afraids" went on and on.

He wanted her to be his. So badly. Desperately. He thought he saw pain in her eyes as she rolled from him and a spark of hope lit inside him. Maybe she wanted him too. Maybe she did love him. How long would she be able to hold out? He could see in her eyes that her heart was slowly breaking as she waited, holding herself back. How long until she couldn't take it anymore and surrendered to him?


	10. Chapter 10

**Just wondering… on the chapters where I post songs, does anyone go listen to them? Cause if you don't you definitely should. This song happens to be my all time favorite. **

_Leave me alone. I know I'm not making sense_

_But I know I can't let you come any closer_

_It's my security, it's my self-defense_

_I keep on doing all this over and over_

_You turn and ask me,_

_Just get to know me baby, oh oh baby_

_I turn away and pretend that I'm doing just fine_

_But you're inside my mind_

_And I'm_

_Helpless, helpless_

_What makes my lonely heart feel like this?_

_Helpless, I'm helpless when it comes to you_

_I'm caught in the way we talk,_

_I'm never good enough_

_Your love's like a wrecking ball and I don't want to break apart_

_Break apart, whoa oh oh ohh_

_Helpless, helpless_

_What makes my wounded heart feel like this?_

_Helpless, I'm helpless when it comes to you_

- Neon Trees "Helpless"

Tony and Ziva decided to spend the day with the family. Sam had apparently found a soccer ball somewhere so they decided to put on their winter clothes and attempt to play soccer. Luckily, the sun was shining or they might have frozen.

They split into teams, leaving the parents, Hannah and baby Isabella inside. Each team had five players: Team One with Tony, Marco, Celia, Diana, and Sam; and Team Two with Ziva, Amanda, John, Angela, and Michael.

_Probably not the best idea_, Tony thought as he saw the evil glint in Ziva's eyes right before kick off.

Sure enough, she was fabulous. She grinned up at him before darting around him, too fast for him to intercept. She laughed as she made goal after goal. Lucky for Tony though, Sam was a varsity player and soon they were tied.

As they neared the fifth goal, their end-of-the-game goal, Tony found a break. He sprinted forward, almost too easily, dribbling the ball in front of him. He looked warily around, trying to see a way to the "net" before everyone descended on him. They were running strangely slowly.

He should have known that it was a trap.

He was on the ground. Something had hit him, tackling him down.

"UHHHH…" he moaned.

The person lying on his stomach moved, her eyes coming to meet his.

"Gotcha…" her enticing lips whispered to him.

A joke. He needed a joke to keep himself from instantly hardening under her mischievous look. "Nice. An American saying. That's new." It wasn't helping, especially because her chuckle made her stomach vibrate right over him. "Why are you on top of me?"

"Because I tackled you for the ball, Toh-nee."

"Ok, why are _still_ on top of me?"

She laughed and he felt her body move on top of him. She placed her hands on the ground on either side of him and pushed herself up.

He was looking down her shirt.

"I can see down your shirt right now."

She looked up at him, holding herself there as she remembered that conversation. "See anything good?"

"Yeah. Real good. Definitely worth dying over." He looked straight into her eyes. And he meant everything that he wasn't saying. He hoped she understood.

Something in her eyes changed. Her smile faltered and she only looked at him for a short moment before standing up.

Oh, if only he knew what was running through her head!

ZIVA'S THOUGHTS

_You have to keep him away. He is too close. This isn't right. It doesn't feel right. Oh, who am I kidding, it feels SO right! _

_But that's not a good thing. The more you feel the more likely you are to get hurt. He's hurt you so many times before, Ziva!_

_But he's always come back for you too. No man has ever done that before. No one has ever been as loyal as him. No one has ever known you better, except for maybe Gibbs and Tali. _

_He asked you to come to meet his family too. You are getting to know him better than you could have ever guessed! It's like he wants you to be a part, to have it be your family too. You keep trying to ignore it but you can't forever. They want you to be family too. And it's wearing you down, finding a home in your mind. _

_But he's always had a home in my mind!_

_He loves me. I can see it in his face. And it's breaking down all my walls, walls I have worked on since I was a kid! How can he do that? It's like his love is a wrecking ball, smashing holes in them. He makes me feel so different, so out of control. _

_Helpless. That was how he makes me feel. He makes my lonely, wounded heart soar again. _

_Helplessly out of control. _


	11. Chapter 11

**For those trying to keep track, this is the third day (if you count the evening they got there) so it is Sunday. The wedding is on Friday and they leave Sunday. **

She went inside and faked a shiver for the women inside.

"Oh, it's cold! I'm going to run and take a hot shower."

"Okay. We will have lunch ready when you come down," Ilaria said.

"Wonderful! I'll hurry so I can help a little," Ziva said with a wink.

They laughed and she ran upstairs to jump in the shower. She didn't really shower. More like stand under hot water and try to wash the strange feeling she had off. It wasn't helping so she got out quickly. She felt refreshed though and that was better than nothing.

Ziva got dressed and walked down to the kitchen. The old ladies were there, making a late lunch and Hannah was with little Isabella on the couch in the sitting room that was attached to it. Ziva grabbed a glass of water and went to sit with them.

"Have fun?" Hannah asked as she sat.

"Yeah, it was great. We always played soccer in Israel but never in the snow!"

Hannah laughed. "Yeah I bet. I was never a sports person. I was a cheerleader," she said with a shrug.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I am only good at soccer because I had an older brother and I am athletic anyway. Actually, I was a dancer until I was about 14. Then my father decided that it was time to start training for Mossad."

"I'm sorry," Hannah said softly.

"Don't be. I always knew that that would be my life. War and fighting."

"But you're in America now. And you have Tony."

"Yes, I suppose so. I never really thought about it. I am still an agent."

"Plenty of agents are married with families."

"I could never do that. I mean, I am too afraid of being trapped to ever get married. And I love kids but I am unable to have them."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Things happen. Just do not tell Tony. He doesn't know."

"But you guys are together. What if he asks you to marry him and you haven't told him?"

"I will tell him. But if you tell him only that I can not have children then he will… discover things that I would rather he did not know just yet." She was looking down into her lap.

"What do you mean, 'discover things'?"

She took a breath. "I was held hostage in a terrorist camp for three months. I was… abused. And now I cannot have children. Tony still blames himself."

"Oh my God, Ziva. I'm so sorry, I didn't know."

"Hannah, do not worry. It is not your fault."

"I shouldn't have asked though."

"Really Hannah it is fine."

"You haven't told Tony?" Ziva shook her head. "How is that possible? You are sleeping together, right?" she asked with a smirk.

Ziva looked at her. A hard decision. "You would have to ask Tony about the status of our relationship."

Hannah looked at her for a second longer. Ziva thought she was going to ask a question but then Isabella started to fuss. "Oh she's hungry. I pumped some milk while you were all out. I'll just go heat it up. Would you hold her for me?" she asked tentatively, trying to break the tense atmosphere that had been created.

Ziva grinned at her and the ice was broken. Hannah realized as she looked at her that this woman, who had been through so much, still had a positive outlook on life. She smiled back and passed Isabella to Ziva.

Ziva sat there with Isabella as Hannah heated the milk. Ziva rocked her softly as she fussed, wanting her milk. Hannah reappeared and Ziva noticed how frazzled she looked.

"I can feed her if you want to go clean up for lunch? Have a minute to yourself, you know?"

"Really?" Hannah asked, a surprised but grateful look on her face. "That would be great! Thanks so much Ziva!" She passed Ziva the bottle and a cloth, before hurrying upstairs.

Ziva settled the baby in her arms and began to feed her. She cooed as Isabella drank hungrily. When she finished, Ziva stood to burp her. She moved the soiled towel off her shoulder and sat back down on the couch. Little Isabella looked up at her for a moment and Ziva started to quietly talk to her. She touched her little baby face and let Isabella grab index finger and hold on so tight. She smiled down at her.

She saw movement at the doorway. Hannah had reappeared but she didn't come in. In front of her was Tony, leaning against the doorframe. He was grinning like a fool and her heart began to flutter remembering what had happened on the field. Hannah wisely left.

"How long have you been standing there?" Ziva asked Tony.

"Long enough to know that you like kids a lot more than you ever let on." He kept staring at her.

"What?" she asked finally.

"Trying to imagine you with your own kid."

"Don't," she said roughly. "We are not the Raniers."

He then remembered that conversation and tried to imagine her pregnant again. It was a very pretty image. He just hoped that the kid was his.

She turned back to little Isabella. She was fast asleep. Ziva stood and walked past Tony (with only one awkward, deep look) to get to the dining room and put her in the bassinet that was there. Tony followed her and watched, with that annoying smile on his face, as she laid Isabella down.

If he kept grinning as he watched her with a baby (and she worried he was imagining that it was their baby), she would have to tell him about Somalia.


	12. Chapter 12

_Wider walls have not protected_

_Anything or anyone_

_The way I will defend your beating heart_

_And I know you're careful_

_Cause I've been burned before_

_And I know how that makes you careful_

_And I know your symptoms_

_Are complicated from holding against the impulse_

_But if you're alone_

_Are you lonely?_

_Well you just don't have to be lonely_

_Anymore_

- Dashboard Confessional "No News is Bad News"

Tony and Ziva crashed into bed late that night. It had been a long day what with soccer in the morning, the heavy (for Ziva at least) moment with Isabella and Hannah, and then spending the afternoon and evening with the family.

For the first time since they had got there, Ziva curled up in a ball, scooted on to her side, definitely not the middle ground, and turned her back to him.

He opened his eyes a crack when he realized that he couldn't feel her weight or her heat near him. He saw her back to him and her body rolled up into a tiny ball. He doubted his body could bend enough to do that. He lifted his head.

"Zee?" he whispered, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"Don't," she said softly. She didn't twitch under his hand but she didn't lean into him either.

"Ziva, what's wrong?"

Now she did twitch. "I said to drip it Tony."

He didn't even bother to correct her. "Ziva you are staying with my family. If you're unhappy or don't like them or whatever, it's my responsibility to recognize that and take you home."

That made her roll over and face him. "Tony! How can you think that? I love your family. I never really had family. This is wonderful for me."

"Then what's wrong Ziva?"

She looked at him for a moment and then rolled back over.

"Ziva, please talk to me."

She didn't answer. She was warring with herself about what to say. He took it as a refusal.

He sighed and laid his head back down. "I'm here if you want to talk Zee."

He looked at her back one last time before sighing again and closing his eyes.

She listened to his breathing start to even out. It calmed her and she collected her thoughts. She wasn't sure if he was awake any more.

"Tony?" she whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, Zee, I'm here," he said. He didn't open his eyes but he wasn't asleep either.

She took a minute. "I talked to Hannah today," she settled on finally.

"I assumed as much. You were holding her baby," he joked.

"I talked with her about having kids."

"Really?"

"Yes. She asked if I was going to have kids."

"Yeah?"

"I told her that I could not."

"Why not? You're in America now Ziva, not a war zone. And you're not with Mossad anymore."

"I physically cannot. I… I am infertile, Tony," she choked out.

His eyes popped open. "But you always have tampons in your desk," he said.

Her eyebrows furrowed and her head lifted a little, twisting over her shoulder. "You have searched my desk?"

"NO! Maybe… once or twice."

"Have you done so since we returned from Somalia?"

"No, I have never had to."

"Why would you have to?" She shook her head. "You know what? I do not want to know. Well if you looked now you would find no tampons."

"So while you were gone you somehow became infertile?"

"Yes."

"You gonna elaborate on that?"

She took a deep breath. "At Mossad we were trained to withstand all types of torture," she said quietly. "Combined with our patriotism, it takes extreme circumstances to break a Mossad officer.

"When I was captured in Somalia, they tried everything on me. But I loved Mossad and NCIS too much to break. After the first month, Saleem realized that typical methods would not work. That was when he first decided to… abuse me." She didn't want to say the actual word. If it hurt her to say it, it would have hurt Tony too much to bear.

Tony was staring at the ceiling, hate rolling through his body. _Damn you Saleem! You took my Ziva away! We had to watch her put the pieces back together! The shot through the head was too good for you! _

He tried to quiet his rage as he spoke. "He… he raped you?"

"Yes," she whispered. "Many times. For a few weeks it was just him, a few times a day. Then he let men he wanted to reward have me.

"Two weeks after it started, I missed my period. Saleem noticed. He knew I was pregnant. They let it grow for a month or two. I thought they were going to keep it or kill it when it was born. But then –"

Tony wondered for a second why she had paused. He looked over at her. Her shoulders were heaving and he suddenly heard a sharp gasp for air. She was sobbing.

"Ziva, it's okay, you don't have to…"

"Yes I do Tony! You deserve to know the truth. You came and saved me. You are the reason I am not dead!"

"Okay," he said backing off. It was obviously important to her. "Take your time."

She took a breath, the sobs having quieted but the tears still rolling down her cheeks. "When I was three months pregnant and I was just beginning to show, they blindfolded me and took me to a different room. They lifted my arms over my head and hooked my bindings on a hook hanging from the ceiling. I could just barely stand on tiptoe. They took my blindfold off. I was hanging in the middle of the room and all around me were men with leather ropes.

"They began to hit me, but only around my middle on all sides. Hours later, at night, they let me down, put me on my bed, and gave me things to clean my wounds. They did that for two days, until when I woke up on the third morning, my sheets were stained with my blood. I had lost the baby.

"He did not hurt me after that. He wanted me to heal some, to stay alive. You all came two weeks later. After I got back I realized I was not having my period. I went to the doctor and she said that the beatings and forced miscarriage caused a lot of damage to my uterus and ovaries. I cannot conceive."

The tears that had been rolling down her face continued and she began to cry softly.

Tony sat there for a moment trying to take everything she had said in. Finally he spoke softly. "I'm so sorry Ziva. This is all my fault. If I hadn't killed Michael, you never would have gone back to Israel and you never would have gone on that mission or gotten captured…"

As he rambled on, she abruptly rolled to face him. "Don't you ever think that again, Anthony DiNozzo!" she whispered fiercely to him. "I have only ever been abused by the men in my life, until I came here and I met you. You are the only one who has ever come after me! You are the only one who ever had the guts to care enough about me to go behind my back! You are the only one who has never used me or abused me or left me behind! You risked your life to get the man who you thought killed me! You were loyal to me even in death! So don't you ever say it's your fault! I am the one who knew that Michael was only there to use me. I am the one who shot Ari. I am the one who fell in love with dead man walking and killed the man I was dating, even if it was undercover. The only thing you are guilty of is caring about me. I don't know why you do but I would not have it any other way."

She stopped to take a breath and looked deep into his eyes. He looked back at her. Slowly he nodded.

"Good," she said, finality lining her voice. "It is late. Let us go to sleep."

She flipped back over and he thought for a minute that she was going to disappear back over to her side of the bed. But instead she backed herself into him, snuggling deep into his chest, spooning with him.

He looked down at her, surprised for a moment. He didn't want to touch her after what she had just told him. But her voice came through his clouded mind.

"Tony, I have gotten over it. I am not broken anymore. I will always have scars, both physical and psychological, but I am okay. I am not afraid to be touched." She was silent for a moment, thinking about what she wanted, how to tell him. Maybe it wasn't the best idea but she needed this. "Honestly, Tony, I have never told anyone all that. I would just like to be held right now. To feel safe and loved right now."

That broke his trance. His arms immediately dropped to wrap around her. He pulled her tight into him and felt her sigh against him.

"Good night, Tony," she whispered.

"Good night, Zee," he responded.

He couldn't close his eyes yet. His thoughts were swirling around this beautiful, strong woman in his arms. He was so happy she had chosen him. Sort of. He was honestly falling head over heels for her.

_I will not let you down Ziva,_ he swore to himself and to her. _I will always protect you. I know you're scared. I know that all the other men in your life have hurt you. But I'm different. I know that you're just being careful and I respect that. But you've been alone a long time Ziva! Are you lonely? Well, as long as I'm here you will never be lonely again. _

He drifted off, knowing that he would always keep that promise.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry! I know I haven't posted in forever and I'm really sorry! I love you all and hope that I can post more often. **

**And thanks to zivadavid03 and Tiva****..Luv for reminding me how long it's been! You guys are why I got my a** in gear and updated! I appreciate the support! **

Monday morning arrived and the wedding was approaching. Tony Sr. and his bride Clara were arriving tomorrow.

Tony and Ziva woke up early to Hannah bursting into the room. They found themselves coiled tightly together. Tony's first instinct was to pull away while Ziva spun and pointed the gun that had been under her pillow at Hannah.

"Gibbs, I swear this isn't what it looks like!" Tony called, rolling away.

"Oh my God! It's just me!" Hannah said. She was watching Ziva as she slowly lowered her gun.

"Hannah! You scared the hell out of us!" Tony yelled.

"I can tell. Do you always sleep with that?"

"Yeah," Ziva said.

"And Tony, who is Gibbs?"

"Our boss," Tony said.

"And why is it not what it looks like?"

Tony looked over at Ziva and then fell back onto the bed.

"He doesn't know about us," he moaned. Ziva stared down at him, wondering what the hell he was doing. He was actually doing a good enough job acting, that she couldn't tell if he was lying.

He had to be lying.

"Oh," Hannah said, a slightly confused look on her face. "Well, we could really use some help downstairs. We have to get everything ready for the wedding. The reception is going to be here you know."

"Are you serious?" Tony asked, raising his head to look at her. "Are going to open the ballroom and everything?"

"Yes."

"Are we hiring someone?"

"No."

"You have got to be kidding me!" he cried, throwing himself back onto the pillow again.

"What? What is it?" Ziva asked.

"The ballroom is really big and everything needs to be cleaned by Friday. Plus the rest of house needs to be cleaned by tomorrow for when Anthony and Clara arrive," Hannah explained.

"Well then it is good that I am very good at cleaning," Ziva said with a smile. "Let me just take a quick shower and I will be right down."

"Can I go back to sleep?" Tony asked as Ziva got out of bed.

"No, Tony!" Hannah cried. "We need your help."

"Fine. I'll go eat something, then shower after Zee," Tony grumbled. He got out of bed and moved to the door. "Coming Hannah?"

"Yeah," she said, following him out. She shut the door behind her.

Her confusion rolled through brain as they began to walk down the hall until she finally couldn't take it anymore. She reached out and grabbed Tony's elbow, turning him to face her.

"You aren't actually dating Ziva, are you?" she asked.

Taken off guard, Tony answered with the first thing that came to mind. "What? Of course we are!"

"No you're not. This morning you said your boss didn't know and yesterday Ziva said that I should ask you about the status of your relationship. You aren't dating."

He stared at her and realized that he couldn't get out of this one. "No. We're not."

"Then why did you bring her? I mean, I get that she's great and we all love her. But Tony…"

"I know! Okay! But I couldn't come here… see my father… alone. And she's the one who's always there for me. She's been my partner for six years now. We've both risked our lives for each other. We've been there for each other through thick and thin and I needed her and she said she would come. I forgot to tell you guys that she wasn't my girlfriend so we just pretended we were. It's not like we haven't done it before."

Hannah watched him rant. Something became abundantly clear. "You love her, don't you?" she asked quietly after he finished.

He looked at her for a second. "Yeah, I do," he finally said.

"So why don't you do something about it?"

"Because she's hurt and broken and what if she doesn't feel the same way? We're such good friends and I don't want to ruin that. Plus there's Rule 12," he said, shaking his head as he looked away from her in defeat.

"What's Rule 12?"

"Our boss has these rules to live by. Rule 12 is never date a coworker."

"I might not have known you for long Tony, but I've heard the stories. Since when did you follow the rules?"

"We'd get reassigned. He's more of a father to us than either of us has ever had. I can't risk losing this position, for both of us."

She watched him. He obviously thought that there was nothing he could do. She had to respect that. "Okay. I won't tell."

And she meant it.

But she couldn't stop herself from adding one thing as she walked past him down the hall.

"I think she feels the same way though."

He stood, frozen in the hall, by her words.

He watched her all day. She felt his eyes on her but she didn't really care. He was always watching her. She assumed it was because of what she had told him the night before.

He wondered if Hannah was right. He let himself touch her more through out the day and was surprised that she welcomed the contact. She thought that he was trying to comfort her like the night before. But she also loved the way his hands felt on her. So comfortable. She hadn't been this confident with a man other than Gibbs and McGee since Somalia.

That night they fell into bed, exhausted by trying to clean the house that day. She lay close to him and was surprised that he pulled her to him. She raised her head a little to look back at him but found that his eyes were closed and he was breathing in the smell of her hair. She smiled and laid her head back down, curling into him even a little more, making it clear that she liked to be this intimate with him.

He moved with her, perfectly molding himself to her body and she was surprised by how sexual it felt. It stirred something deep inside her. The warning bells that had gone quiet over the trip suddenly went off.

_Oh God, _her mind moaned. _I want him, so badly… I wish I could just turn around and push him into the bed and devour him. Have earth shattering, mind blowing sex with him. I can't tell if he just likes the proximity or he wants that too. Are we like brother and sister? That first day here, he looked at me with so much lust. And I encouraged it. I always encouraged it back then. But then it became more flirting, less actual interest. Is he no longer attracted to me?_

_I should move away before this gets out of hand but I can't. _

_I don't know what this is that I'm feeling. It's not lust. It's not affection. It's deeper than that. Something I've never felt before. _

_Love? _


End file.
